it is i

2010-04-01T06:10:00.001-07:00

you can find me here

62 days of gratitude on the wall...

2009-12-24T06:07:00.000-08:00

i know it is

my own

shortcoming

we all fall short

our potential

i can't

seem

to help

but respond

viscerally

to other's words

thoughts

expressions

and, oh

yesterday...

i read a post

that had me

so rattled

belly churning

running for

the ginger tea

to smooth

tummy and nerves

wondering

resolved

resigned

wishing for the

humility

to not take things

personally

for the words

to express

the other side

and then the

pendulum swung

as our bard

poet

songbird

sounded

(as did

angel gavriel

the messenger

whose name translates as

'the source of all power

makes me man-like...

has made me

appear in the flesh')

depth

beneath

a veil

of words

the pendulum swings

the balance strikes

the messenger sounds

our poet's

beautiful words

wondrous expression

thank you

elizabeth

if you please...

2009-12-22T07:42:00.000-08:00

you can

find me

here

64 days of gratitude on the wall...

2009-11-25T04:16:00.000-08:00

on you mark...

i have

been

thankfully

busily preparing

it's the holiday season

just beginning

to understand

the holiday rush

six months ago

newly layed-off

i never

would have imagined

people would

come to me

for my work

on a break

i dropped in to the

local

florist

for a birthday bouquet

and got the

most exqusite arrangement

beautiful simple modern vase

purple ornamental cabbage

giant lilies

berries

ranunculus

for a song

when i asked

why?

the proprietess

who opened her shop

a few months ago

giving wings to her dream

said

nobody's buying

my heart sank

and

ever since

i have not been able

to get her

out of my mind

the present attention

to my work

so very much due

to the support

of neighbors

both of the stores

carrying my art

pointed toward me by

neighbors

this day before

the true

holiday rush begins

i want to pose to you

a challenge

get set...

this year

instead of finding gifts

online

or at target

or walmart

find your local craft market

or the independent store

still family owned

buy there

shop online

then find your

local supplier

buy there

shop on etsy

find a hundred things you love

that'll be easy!

then edit your list down

to the artists who

live down the way

buy from your

neighbor

get you

veggies

at the

farmer's market

they say

every dollar spent

locally

circulates

seven more times

before leaving the neighborhood

keeping

local people employed

would

loosen the

stranglehold

this recession has on the

nation

how joyful

or peaceful

will the holiday be

when you step out

to see

the family-owned

market

pharmacy

printer's

has closed?

what kind of

holiday

will it be if

i step out

and see a

for rent

sign on the florist shop window?

spend your

hard earned money

locally

it will come back to you

i promise

it may save

the roof

over your head

tomorrow

as you sit down to sup

with family

tell them to

try

post about it

share this post

we all know someone

who has

closed a business

lost a job

lost a home

reign in

your resources

support your neighbors

and

better your own chances

at continuing to live

with the

luxuries with which we

are blessed

you up for the

challenge?

put on you running shoes

get in a good

pre-game stretch

and

go!

64 days of gratitude on the wall...

2009-11-15T19:42:00.000-08:00

tell me

have you seen

her?

65 days of gratitude on the wall...

2009-11-02T16:37:00.000-08:00

mommy and daddy
2 november 1962

66 days of gratitude on the wall...

2009-11-01T16:57:00.001-08:00

sweet hallows eve
brings out the
true nature
in all of us

the veil lifts
and we walk
side by side
with those
on
the other side

all facets
a possibility

those which
the children
chose to put
on display for
this night?

my prince
'the real kind.
the kind who
fight for their country'.

fierce warrior

and gentle giant

and the peanut?
a witch

'a good witch,
but i LOOK
like a bad witch'.

i can't imagine
where she gets
that

she doesn't look
so bad to me

at the
last minute
she asked
if she could wear
cat ears
too

happy happy

67 days of gratitude on the wall....

2009-10-31T11:30:00.000-07:00

i'll be honest

part
of me
wants to
retaliate with
a string of
machine gun fired
accusations

assumptions
blind
deaf
opinionated
opinions

to tell folks
exactly
what i think
about their

musings
thoughts
blathering

about their
rants

the other
part of me
understands
we are all
frustrated

although it
is not easy
to hold my tongue
i will
because

i don't know you

but it's clear
that you
misunderstood

please
hear me speak to
addiction
compassion

hear me use phrases
like
my guess i imagine i would think

please
think
before you tell me
what i cannot
or
should not
assume

and then
assume
to know about
my
dance with
addiction
parenthood
or
someone else's
education
resources
demise

please think
before you curse
as you speak

at me
with profound
condescension

perhaps
i am not
the one
who didn't
stop to think?

egos
blown out of
all reasonable
proportion

we
want
to be heard

we
need
to be
respected

the
human family
wouldn't be
the same without
you or me

this
i will
remember

68 days of gratitude on the wall vs corner view...

2009-10-28T04:45:00.001-07:00

of course
water

talk about a
corner view

water may
not have any
real
corners

but look

look at how she
dances and shifts

kissing a strawberry
as softly
as she does a
Stonewall

or a
summer house

or a
young boy's dreams

water is
our life
and our breath

for more
visit jane

69 days of gratitude on the wall...

2009-10-21T21:00:00.000-07:00

when i
arrived
in this hood

i was greeted
regularly
with a
hey, elissa!

i'd turn around
and a quick
oh
i'm sorry
i thought you were...
would follow

it was
and still is
the
highest compliment
to be mistaken
for her

she
is
brilliant
talented
compassionate
and
darn right
neighborly

and she's posted
an interview with me
here

thanks
neighbor

70 days of gratitude on the wall vs corner view...

2009-10-21T09:58:00.000-07:00

at first
i thought
i would write
about
traveling the world

then i thought
perhaps
i should honor
the memory of
my daddy

who
each year
on his birthday
or christmas
asked for
peace
in the world

then i thought
what if
each of us who
share our
lovely
corner view

took a
step back
from
our corner ?

or maybe
a step
forward

we might see
something
very different

dirty dishes?
unpaid bills?
broken hearts?

a woman
i love

a childhood friend
a baker of beautiful cakes
a 'blogger'

who
makes me laugh
and
shares with me
her little corner

took
one
small
step

and perhaps
uncovered the key
to my daddy's dream
and mine

i think
perhaps
one small step
away from my corner
could be
as they say

one
giant leap
for
mankind

after
the sort of
shift
laura made

one might feel
a tad less fear
to think of
realizing
their dream

and we all
might find ourselves
a tad bit closer
to
realizing
my daddy's

so what is
the key?

i will
hand you a tissue
take a step back
and let
roger
tell you

71 days of gratitude on the wall...

2009-10-20T10:48:00.000-07:00

i sit

staring
at the screen
trying to
compose
a reply

my head drops
as the river pours
from my eyes

again
i feel the delicate wings
fold around me

gentle
without denial

and in a
split second
through the speakers
come the
words of wisdom

child,
let it be

72 days of gratitude on the wall...

2009-10-19T17:28:00.000-07:00

i
just love
being a
girl

73 days of gratitude on the wall vs corner views...

2009-10-13T14:21:00.000-07:00

look
at what came
in the mail

a thank you
from our blessed
ms moon

how beautiful she is
next to the collage i made
years ago

a postage stamp
i pulled off a love letter

together
two mothers
in prayer
or reverie
or meditation

call it what you will

how perfect she is
on the mantle

and when they
catch the spirit

eyes downcast
not for weakness
nor shame
or
subservience

but introspection
humility

today
i have been pacing
working
considering
thinking

i have taken offense
at peoples words
comments
opinions
assumptions
that

people who believe
in scriptures that are
holy to me
must be brainwashed

or
if i am of a differing opinion
i must be
paying attention to the
wrong voices

or
perhaps i
simply
don't understand

but i look at the
heavy lids
of this
blessed mother

and
i
know

she cares not
whether you call her
the virgin of guadalupe
patchamama
lakshmi
lilith
eve
kali
branwen
ala
amaterasu
coatlicue
fatimah
or
baba yaga

she knows
who she is

as i know
that
i am a mother
as are you

we are
The Mother

and

whether you
light a candle
or
pray
the rosary
or
chant
ohm
mane padme
ohm
or
blog

i still love you
all

for more
corner views
visit jane

and now for something completely different

2009-10-09T17:52:00.000-07:00

i wonder what
john lennon
would think about the
state of the democracy

74 days of gratitude on the wall...

2009-10-07T12:39:00.000-07:00

at least
today
we are overwhelmed with
the kind of gnomes

and the kind of mice

that don't eat
all your treats
or line their winter homes with
one
of your best
comfiest
wool socks

and for
that
i am grateful

75 days of gratitude on the wall vs cornerview...

2009-10-05T06:57:00.000-07:00

need i say more?

for more corner views
visit jane

76 days of gratitude on the wall...

2009-10-04T17:32:00.000-07:00

hangtags
on my artwork
boast a sketch of
a dandelion

befeathered seeds
scatter
on the wind

it seems
one of those seeds
has landed

in the most
magical
of places

acorn toys

the dragon boat
mobile

and the swan boat
mobile

if you're in
brooklyn
swing by and tell them
adrienne
sent you!

77 days of gratitude on the wall vs. corner view...

2009-09-30T04:19:00.000-07:00

white...

isn't her work
stunning?

for more corner views
visit jane

78 days of gratitude on the wall...

2009-09-26T08:52:00.000-07:00

what a piece of work is man
how noble in reason
how infinite in faculty
in form and moving
how express and admirable
in action how like an angel
in apprehension how like a god
the beauty of the world
the paragon of animals...

this is where
hamlet and i
part ways

there are times when
the human spirit touches me
in so deep a place
that although i know i shall
return to dust

i cannot believe us to be
the quintessence of dust
and 'man'
delights me so

have you seen
this?
if you haven't
go
now
bear witness to

le coup

phillipe petit
weaves a spider's web
between those towers
and
walks on a cloud

afterward he said
when i see three oranges i juggle
when I see two towers i walk

and when i saw
phillipe walk

i sewed

petite philippe

and in honor of
the woman who walked
by his side

petite annie

may we all
wake to our dream
and
walk on a cloud

80 days of gratitude on the wall...

2009-09-21T17:31:00.000-07:00

words fail
so often they
simply
fail

although today
these words
roll
through my mind

from the pages
of one of my
favorite books

and suddenly something shifted and suddenly something stirred

these words bounce
in my mind since
saturday

yes
words fail
almost

and pictures
don't do justice
but...

but the fair
in a word
was
great

great response
great sales
great vibe

and a nibble from a
hoighty toighty
department store

can you imagine?

i almost feel
at peace

almost

81 days of gratitude on the wall...

2009-09-14T21:28:00.000-07:00

it has been too long
have i been missed?

well
i have missed
you

in addition to a new
school year
twins in separate classes

(yeah!)

and in spite of
a lawyer who is
not concerned
about child support for
my kids

and a BOYfriend who considers
said kids to be a
pre-existing condition

his words were
previous financial responsibility

(not so yeah!)

there is a battalion
of fairy boats

aviators
indians
pirates

wild knights

elf kicks

mermen

and
four
more
days

sigh

until my
very first craft fair

this saturday
in bed stuy
brooklyn

life continues with the
barrage
of lemons

but
no lemonade as
mother hubbard's cupboard
is barren
of sugar

and yet
this vessel
creates

counts blessings
between the tears

dances
between the raindrops

and prepares

i cannot
express
the gratitude

please pray for a
sunny
profitable
glorious
day

and stop on over
if you can

82 days of gratitude on the wall...

2009-09-08T18:03:00.000-07:00

this morning
i expected to sign in
and find
post after post...

no

i lie

i expected to find at least
one post about
van jones

but, nothing
perhaps i'm not turning over
the right stones

shaking
yes, ms moon
i'm afraid
too

but what i find chilling
is that a man whom
i believe to be
strong, good, progressive
human

was chased out from the
White House
by a pack of torch wielding
consumers

and the
present administration
said little more than
fare thee well

if even
that

the numbers of soldiers
swell
in afganistan

unmanned
u.s. drones assasinate
men
women
children
in pakistan

we don't even have the
respect
to dirty our hands
taking their lives

tell me again...
who is the president?

i woke up
heard 30 seconds of
morning news

and
i don't know

i thought i would find
revolution
coming through the wires

instead
i found this

and smiled
broad
true
and deep

not only are you
listening
but you actually would have
others listen, too

gratitude for laura
my neighbor
my friend

83 days of gratitude on the wall...

2009-08-30T19:49:00.001-07:00

of late
something
has been getting under my skin
crawling

or perhaps poking
tugging at my thoughts

i have posted about this feeling
now realizing over the last few months
we have all written about it

why is that?

sure that my mother had these moments
which likely went
undetected by others
as she vacuumed
washed dishes
or forgot one or another of us
behind on a playdate

(before playdates were invented)

yet still wondering
how can it be that our lives
with all our differing circumstance
have one thing in common?

panic

reading bedtime stories
(a dictionary of mythical creatures
lovely pictures alongside
disinformation about the
much maligned medusa)

we came across pan

'rocky hills and green valleys
meadows and woodlands
olive groves, wild grapevines
and sparkling streams

this was the domain of pan

even though he was a god
pan was very lonely
sometimes he was overcome with despair
and simply sat in a dark cave
howling like a wounded animal

...anyone who heard them was
gripped
by a terrible fear known as
panic'

and online

' "pertaining to pan,"
the god of woods and fields
who was the source of mysterious sounds that caused
contagious groundless fear
in herds and crowds
or in people in lonely spots'

how is it
that we are
a herd
a crowd
yet still lonely?

where are the days
of beating laundry against stones
laughing
nursing
singing together

as we beat out the
dirt of life
along with fear
confusion
loneliness?

now we
type type type

commiserate
across the miles
while our neighbor weeps
alone

i hear it in the trees
and wish the
late summer wind
would sweep through us
i wish fear
could be carried

away

ms moon
speaks of communion
and i wonder
what more sacred
gift than a
collective breath

in
and out

and with it
all that keeps us apart
all that makes
howl along with pan's
lonely dirge

i think on these things
and know
it will be

whether
i am here to witness
or my children
or my children's children

it will be
and i feel gratitude
knowing

one day
the crooked places
will be made straight

84 days of gratitude on the wall...

2009-08-28T15:28:00.000-07:00

sidewalk socrates

freestyle philosopher

waking
walking
wingnut

barrio burrows

thinker
creator
epistolary emissary

hustler?

i wouldn't even mind
if you were
whatever you are
you wear it well

anyway
i could stand to learn a bit
about hustling

and
i'm grateful to have
finally
met you

85 days of grattude on the wall...

2009-08-26T05:42:00.000-07:00

people give their lives
to make straight
what appears
a very
crooked path

kind hearts
sweet smile
intentions
passing through shadows
in the end

a gentle breeze
lifts the veil
all struggle
strainings strivings cease

folding into
fresh air
cool water
warm cradling earth
rest

gratitude for
those who
give their lives

blessings
to those who mourn
their loved one
today

86 days of gratitude on the wall...

2009-08-25T06:53:00.000-07:00

i've had enough
of fucking
fiddlesticks and poppycock

breathless
and ready
to exit stage left

praying the
image held
before morning
opened eyes

moving forward
seas parting
light
ease
facility

dreams can be

funny things
by the light of day

in pieces
out of focus

children are
fuel and inspiration
parenthood slows progress
toward
destination divination

praying that
i may hold
that image
the ship that will
take us away

grateful
for my dreams

gratitude for a ship
and a star
to sail her by

87 days of gratitude on the wall...

2009-08-21T04:10:00.001-07:00

yesterday
i stumbled across
an artist who once
moved my days

chalking secrets
inspiration
on the sidewalks of
new york

gracias
por todo

today
a chain letter
via email

i thought twice
about posting this
wondering if the choice is akin
to justifying war

or the success of
one person over another
by quoting
hebrew scripture

as the hindu goddess of
wealth prosperity
light wisdom
fortune fertility
generosity and courage

the embodiment of
beauty grace and charm

i humbly doubt
lakshmi
would begrudge me
the petition

may i be granted a
mere drop in the bucket
of any of those blessings

Money Coming Your Way

This is a Money Goddess Lakshimi.
Pass it to 6 of your good friends
or family and be rich in 4 Days.
Pass it to 12 of your good friends
or family and be rich in 2 Days.
I am not joking.
You will find an unexpected windfall.

here's hoping at least six folks
are reading this
(12 would be even better)

today my
gratitude
is that i still have
a dollar and
a dream

88 days of gratitude on the wall...

2009-08-18T08:04:00.000-07:00

i gave up long ago
on being
the favorite auntie

too weird
i know nothing of animae
don't follow gossip girls
or idols
or fergie

the best auntie?
only if gauged by
intentions prayer honesty
only if mistakes are allowed

especially
the mistake of never
ever
remembering the actual
date of their birth

sorry

i think someone was born twelve
twelve
years ago today
and another birthday
is around the corner,
but isn't that always the truth

today we're all grateful for
happy healthy
nephews cousins

may all your wishes
come true

89 days of gratitude on the wall...

2009-08-17T04:36:00.000-07:00

i will be honest

i mostly hate writing these gratitude posts
too much inside me
storm brewing tide turning
wanting to scream from the rooftops

disgusted with the banality
i fearfully mirror

yet i hold hope that i will find some peace
at the end of 100 days

with 88 posts to go
(the number of transformation repeated for clarity)
i give thanks for a second chance
and holler praise for mini me
my peanut

amziel
her name translates as
my valor comes from
the source of all power

by GOD
that is who she is

it is her time now
she visits with alice
on the other side of the looking glass

spending her day with magical beings
speaking languages
which have almost become
babel to my ear

remembering who i once was
the spooky girl
i learned to dismiss

so like me
she imagines politicians
imprisoned
look mommy, he's in jail now

officiating as dressy bessy marries
her robot prince

creating endless wardrobe options
for her wee friends

once upon a time
i too
wore evening gowns
to run in the park

she is
my second chance

without the intention of forcing her hand
rather knowing seeing
already she is cast out
as she leans away from the crowd

classmates mock
her knowing
rose red and snow white
are one
she just feels different
on different days

they tell
my beautiful angel
she cannot be a
princess
you have a scar on your face

today still strong
her star bright
clear

can i allow her to be?
watch her back
surround her with community
that yet believes in
angels
magic
gifts from god
destiny?
the sort of power
to which her name
speaks?

i guard her wonder
at things not seen
but can i do this without alienating
us both?

i will be honest

i hold such fear that bad handling
poor parenting
wrong choices will condemn this
little beauty
to the dark night
wrestling with angels

even knowing
there is still time to
prevail

i am grateful for
this second chance
to know it is always
the outcasts who
transform the world

i am grateful
for you
and to you
amziel

90 days of gratitude on the wall...

2009-08-13T17:49:00.001-07:00

today i am grateful
humbled
by the stuff dreams are made of

shelter island

time away from troubles

ocean
quiet
salty houses
sweet company

restoration
rest

days of mommies
kids
babies

silly songs

and validation
for the good choices we make
the hard work we do

reminded

that i am not crazy

i gladly return that sobriquet

to the world
which so deserves it
no thank you
i've had enough

beautiful ladies who
tilt their heads
and tip their hats to
another mother's laughter and tears

oh so very grateful

for time away
and for the
shelter of friends

91 days of gratitude on the wall...

2009-08-05T19:34:00.001-07:00

gratitude for
my wonderment
my firstborn
my manchild

i borrow from shakespeare
because
i dream'd
too...

his face was as the heavens

and therein stuck
a sun and moon
which kept their course
and lighted
the little O, the earth

his legs bestrid the ocean
his rear'd arm
crested the world
(at least my world)

his voice was propertied
as all the tuned spheres
and that to friends

but when he meant to quail and shake the orb
he was as rattling thunder

only a mother can love that part

for his bounty
there was no winter in't

an autumn 'twas

that grew the more by reaping

his delights
were dolphin-like

in his livery
walk'd crowns and crownets
realms and islands were
as plates dropp'd from his pocket

think you there was
or might be
such a man
as this I dream'd of?

no one sees a child's
true beauty
like a mother

plus he kicks some serious
kung fu ass

gratitude for my
firstborn
only
son

92 days of gratitude on the wall...

2009-08-03T08:34:00.000-07:00

GRATITUDE!

yes, those are caps
perhaps the first i have felt
in my bones
since making the 100 day commitment

gratitude that somewhere inside
there is a room

posted over the door:
no sadness
no judgement
no loneliness, bitterness, brick walls
allowed

inside
i'm 17 again
a driver's license
a car-full of girlfriends
my god-given tan

gratitude
that in my 17-year-old's room
blue, blue, electric blue...
there is still space for a sister's smile
(as well as squiring tears)

her soundtrack is different
her friends are different
her life is different

but the first beats of
her song make me
think of mine

must be the good genes, mostly

gratitude

93 days of gratitude on the wall...

2009-08-02T19:55:00.000-07:00

today i am grateful

for proverbs
little mantras guide me through the day

one man's trash is
another man's treasure

i take what is old
and make it new

shirts dresses ribbons
personal myths

though today brings
so much trouble finding the treasure

my stomach in knots
these trembling hands
9:35 and a whole day to survive

my stomach roils
while painful castigation
dances in my head

any story sounds true
until someone tells the other side
and sets the record straight

tremors move to my chest
i focus on the fabric
the fabric
keep the scissors on the fabric

grateful
there must be something here
for which i am grateful

loneliness
whispers

ghetto sounds
i hear young mothers next door
screaming at their babies
again

there
but for the grace of god
go i

if one is unable
by circumstance
chemistry
or resource

to step back, calm the voice
stay their hand
make it to the next moment
without doing harm

ill equipped
over the din
not hearing the limbic
begging for

right breath right livelihood right action

are they not still a mighty work
a precious jewel
a treasure?

blessed
are the poor in spirit

over and over
in my mind

while my hands cut
stitch
one man's trash

someone shops for the spanking new
superstores
aisles and aisles
made in china

yet

i cannot judge my relation
until
i walk two moons in his moccasins

suffering cosmic arrows
sometimes having the courage
to pick ourselves up
dust ourselves off

sometimes not

even those most revered for their faith
compassion
power
in fearful moments shake a fist at the
clear blue expanse

my god
why
have you forsaken me?

the conjoined twins of
fear and anger
distract so efficiently
turning attention from blessings

intention
must move toward
taking out the trash
releasing
unveiling treasure

reminding

we can know only as much divinity
as exists within us

today i am grateful
for proverbs
little mantras
guiding me through the day

94 days of gratitude on the wall...

2009-07-30T04:40:00.000-07:00

grateful for
choice

faded jeans
passed on

i choose to transform them
a gift for a friend
making the choice to follow her rainbow
explore life elsewhere

i work
thinking how a decision made
can mean victory for one

yet the same choice for another
might lead to
stalemate

and so

we begin again
taking the present moment
lessons learned
tools and resources

'yesterday's news' recycled colored pencils from acorn toy shop

speaking our prayer
making a wish

sending these hopes
on the wings
of doves or angels

continue the journey
knowing there is a road

today i am

grateful for
choice

95 days of gratitude on the wall vs cornerview

2009-07-28T20:42:00.001-07:00

cornerview: best kept secrets

we live in the 'hood'
folks are afraid to come visit

seriously

cringe when i tell them where we live
you're raising your kids there?

who can blame them
with notorious gangstas like these
taking over the streets?

frank mc court
may he rest in peace
was born here
he had it pretty rough

you gotta watch your back
these tulips popped up out of nowhere
bam bam bam

one of my
best kept secrets?
bed-stuy backyards

and for that
i sing my gratitude
shhhhh...

for more cornerviews
visit jane

96 days of gratitude on the wall

2009-07-28T19:51:00.000-07:00

i was stretched to my limit
interviews
and more interviews

trying to convince folks
who boast the shiny veneer
of
having it all together

that i do too

trying to be heard
begging
unsolicited advice from the childless to
roll off my back

nothing was easy today

now
the children are asleep
the dishes are all done
i'm alone
the house is quiet

gratitude for having
made it through a
tough day

97 days of gratitude on the wall...

2009-07-23T14:06:00.001-07:00

grateful when
familiar words form a new perspective
a prayer recited countless times
suddenly carried on the breath

inspired

then lights
costume, makeup
more than that

change

when energy from the crowd is focused
channeled through these two

my gratitude is in remembering
what power we hold within
and the difference made when
i lift you up

*
pressure pushing down on me
pressing down on you
no man ask for

splits a family in two
puts people on streets

it's the terror of knowing
what this world is about
watching some good friends
screaming 'let me out'

these are the days
it never rains but it pours

people on streets
turned away from it all like a blind man
sat on a fence but it don't work

keep coming up with love
but it's so slashed and torn
can't we give ourselves one more chance
why can't we give love that one more chance

'cause love's such an old fashioned word

and love dares you to care for
the people on the edge of the night
and love dares you to change our way of
caring about ourselves

this is our last dance
this is our last dance

this is ourselves
under pressure

98 days of gratitude on the wall...

2009-07-22T16:57:00.000-07:00

a friend sent this to me
mysteries, angels
swimming the depths

how seldom we truly see
what lies beneath

gratitude for
beauty and majesty
this great blue planet

corner view wednesday vs 99 days of gratitude on the wall...

2009-07-21T19:08:00.000-07:00

corner view: weekend evenings
make me grateful for brooklyn

river's edge birthday parties
faeries of a certain age
upcycling wings

wonder-full
singing dancing
brown ladies

a new brick oven pizza place
beautiful vintage everything
and beautiful warm-hearted
people

candle lit yards

happy vibrant children
running through unleashed sprinklers
the bainbridge between stuyvesant and malcolm x
block party is on y'all
holla!

grateful
for my corner
in brooklyn

for more cornerviews
visit jane

100 days of gratitude on the wall...

2009-07-21T17:39:00.000-07:00

an apology

i started blogging with a bang
then lost sight of reGENERATIONs

and scrambled into my cave of depression
alienating those who have lent their support
now i crawl out

i am trying
it is work
even more than that
it is ugly work

today on a search for costume inspiration
i ran into this lady
with due respect
i bite her idea

my next 100 posts will be about
gratitude

i admit
i do this Kicking and Screaming

the beauty of the technology is
no one will have to see my flailing
or hear my keening

perhaps some will get to know the lightness
as impassioned as the dark within me

hoping
after 100 posts
i will regenerate the lost limbs

my first pearl...

i am grateful
someone who makes me smile
and loves all of me across seven mountaintops

leaves presently
to the land of her (my)
dreams

safe travels, ms moon

the tribe

2009-07-20T18:50:00.001-07:00

i'm looking
although clearly my vision is blurred and inefficient

and listening
although clearly my ears are clogged with too many years of depression
coupled with the imaginary voices heard by the insane

i speak to god
who reminds me
in the soul's midnight hour it is you for whom i wait.

summer in the city

2009-07-17T18:18:00.000-07:00

it's about to pop y'all

the sky is mother of pearl
like white nights in st. petersburg
though i imagine theirs'd be more of a blue-white...

it's nighttime yet the sky glows
pregnant with moisture and electric
thunderstorms forecast for three days
but nothing yet, though you can feel it coming

i saw a flash a bit off sitting in the yard
in the middle of the city
i can sit in my backyard, shoes off
step on a slug on my way back inside
a four inch slug under my bare feet in new york city

and now as i sit to type
thunder rolls
and it's about to pop

three days ago i was
out of here

my tightest ties coming undone

and now the storm of summer in new york city is about to blow

a yinka shonibare MBE exhibit opened
and yesterday a show in brooklyn
free swim (sorta) classes for the kids

friends from school and $1.50
unbelievable
tamales at a bagel shop of all places

i was oughta here
but the lid's about to blow
and i don't want to miss a thing

one step at a time

2009-07-16T19:46:00.000-07:00

i must admit i'm feeling a bit paralyzed

i have been posting under another name for some time; it was going well. i was funny sometimes and sometimes dreamy and melancholic.

i was making friends, forming a circle.

but it became clear that i ought to lose my real skin, joining the ranks of folks who
change names to protect the innocent
all well and good, but now i wonder...

who am i, if not me?

no pictures of my kids, who are my very best thing? no stories about my sisters...my boyfriend...my mom?

she's a pistol.

when stripped of these details
integrated in some ways, though still external
i find myself quite unsure about who i might actually be

there was a woman. i'm sure if it. a really beautiful woman, before the kids
before the failed marriage
she turned heads.

quirky, crazy, wild yet wonted. unusual and creative and alive
where is she?

where is mexico and late night dancing and a novel and a half a week and
laughing laughing laughing
with the girls... where have these things gone?
are they no longer me or merely hiding under the dirty towels
or the 'baby weight' i have yet to shed...
are they in the back of the refrigerator behind the green cream cheese?

yes, there is plenty of green cream cheese

where is alberto, the 19 year old anthropology student
he played unfamiliar, incendiary chords across my abdomen
as if i were the only woman on earth and he (silly him) had left his vihuela at home?

i can't imagine what he would think if he saw me now
though if i close my eyes and listen closely
i can almost feel his rhythm on my pre-everything belly...

i can remember long limbs and cool drinks
love notes signed jamas te olvidare
vacations and sleeping in and brunch
long days lounging in the park with friends
new skirts and late nights and every once in a while
a new man

i can remember the sweetest of dreams that may well have been my life.

if i take it one step at a time
will i once again find that
head-turning woman on the other side of the looking glass?