89 days of gratitude on the wall...

i will be honest

i mostly hate writing these gratitude posts
too much inside me
storm brewing tide turning
wanting to scream from the rooftops

disgusted with the banality
i fearfully mirror

yet i hold hope that i will find some peace
at the end of 100 days

with 88 posts to go
(the number of transformation repeated for clarity)
i give thanks for a second chance
and holler praise for mini me
my peanut

amziel
her name translates as
my valor comes from
the source of all power

by GOD
that is who she is

it is her time now
she visits with alice
on the other side of the looking glass

spending her day with magical beings
speaking languages
which have almost become
babel to my ear

remembering who i once was
the spooky girl
i learned to dismiss

so like me
she imagines politicians
imprisoned
look mommy, he's in jail now

officiating as dressy bessy marries
her robot prince

creating endless wardrobe options
for her wee friends

once upon a time
i too
wore evening gowns
to run in the park

she is
my second chance

without the intention of forcing her hand
rather knowing seeing
already she is cast out
as she leans away from the crowd

classmates mock
her knowing
rose red and snow white
are one
she just feels different
on different days

they tell
my beautiful angel
she cannot be a
princess
you have a scar on your face

today still strong
her star bright
clear

can i allow her to be?
watch her back
surround her with community
that yet believes in
angels
magic
gifts from god
destiny?
the sort of power
to which her name
speaks?

i guard her wonder
at things not seen
but can i do this without alienating
us both?

i will be honest

i hold such fear that bad handling
poor parenting
wrong choices will condemn this
little beauty
to the dark night
wrestling with angels

even knowing
there is still time to
prevail

i am grateful for
this second chance
to know it is always
the outcasts who
transform the world

i am grateful
for you
and to you
amziel