of late
something
has been getting under my skin
crawling
or perhaps poking
tugging at my thoughts
i have posted about
this feeling
now realizing over the last few months
we have
all written about it
why is that?
sure that my mother had these moments
which likely went
undetected by others
as she vacuumed
washed dishes
or forgot one or another of us
behind on a playdate
(before playdates were invented)
yet still wondering
how can it be that our lives
with all our differing circumstance
have one thing in common?
panicreading
bedtime stories(a dictionary of mythical creatures
lovely pictures alongside
disinformation about the
much maligned medusa)
we came across pan
'rocky hills and green valleys
meadows and woodlands
olive groves, wild grapevines
and sparkling streams
this was the domain of pan
even though he was a god
pan was very lonely
sometimes he was overcome with despair
and simply sat in a dark cave
howling like a wounded animal
...anyone who heard them was
gripped
by a terrible fear known as
panic'
and online' "pertaining to pan,"
the god of woods and fields
who was the source of mysterious sounds that caused
contagious groundless fear
in herds and crowds
or in people in lonely spots'
how is it
that we are
a herd
a crowd
yet still lonely?
where are the days
of beating laundry against stones
laughing
nursing
singing together
as we beat out the
dirt of life
along with fear
confusion
loneliness?
now we
type type type
commiserate
across the miles
while our neighbor weeps
alone
i hear it in the trees
and wish the
late summer wind
would sweep through us
i wish fear
could be carried
away
ms moon speaks of communion
and i wonder
what more sacred
gift than a
collective breath
in
and out
and with it
all that keeps us apart
all that makes
howl along with pan's
lonely dirge
i think on these things
and know
it
will be
whether
i am here to witness
or my children
or my children's children
it will beand i feel gratitude
knowing
one day
the crooked places
will be made straight
but the fair
almost
